Rogan: Man, can I just say, I'd heard some of the stuff in y'all's open letter about what's going on in these plural places we're not in, and it's making me kinda glad we fell off the up-to-date wagon. I haven't met anyone who was able to return to singlet on purpose (it always happened by accident, and often seemed to slip and slide around), but their experiences matter! It happens! And while I myself would never want it, a resource on how to actually make it happen (if it's possible) seems like it would be important and helpful! I've just... never seen one, except in this super-sanitized "you will solve all your problems and EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT FOREVER!" when... that is not how it's happened for any of the folks we know who DID return to singlethood. If there IS a route to follow, besides "deal with your trauma and hope for the best" I don't know about it. (Do y'all? Y'all are clearly more up-to-date than me.)
Unfortunately, many plural spaces are NOT receptive to the notion that one’s understanding of their origin can change over time.
UGH THIS HONKS ME OFF SO BADLY. You are basically BOUND to get something wrong at some point! That's natural and normal! Requiring people to sign in blood the moment they enter the room, "everything I say is correct and true until forever and ever," is doomed to make people miserable! LET FOLKS BE WRONG! Let them and their understanding change and grow! Imagine if the first time you ever said, "I want to be X when I grow up!" became the career path you were assigned for the rest of eternity! Yech!
As for micro-labels, I am still mad and bitter that I now get strangers coming up to me at con tables asking if I'm an "endo." Because I am working, I can not make the face I would like and say, "Now, now, sweetheart, you haven't bought me dinner yet." Instead, I have to keep my professional face on and explain that they are asking a caveman if he is Catholic or Protestant: I predate that whole thing, I was not converted, thus those words are irrelevant to me, and anyway, do they wanna buy a book or not? This is Comic Con, not microlabel speed-dating. (Maybe that should be my flippant answer: "Buy my books and find out!" Yes, that will be my answer from here on out.)
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Unfortunately, many plural spaces are NOT receptive to the notion that one’s understanding of their origin can change over time.
UGH THIS HONKS ME OFF SO BADLY. You are basically BOUND to get something wrong at some point! That's natural and normal! Requiring people to sign in blood the moment they enter the room, "everything I say is correct and true until forever and ever," is doomed to make people miserable! LET FOLKS BE WRONG! Let them and their understanding change and grow! Imagine if the first time you ever said, "I want to be X when I grow up!" became the career path you were assigned for the rest of eternity! Yech!
As for micro-labels, I am still mad and bitter that I now get strangers coming up to me at con tables asking if I'm an "endo." Because I am working, I can not make the face I would like and say, "Now, now, sweetheart, you haven't bought me dinner yet." Instead, I have to keep my professional face on and explain that they are asking a caveman if he is Catholic or Protestant: I predate that whole thing, I was not converted, thus those words are irrelevant to me, and anyway, do they wanna buy a book or not? This is Comic Con, not microlabel speed-dating. (Maybe that should be my flippant answer: "Buy my books and find out!" Yes, that will be my answer from here on out.)